3 posts tagged “what gives?”

Yesterday, I was on the elliptical machine, sweating profusely and watching the Democratic presidential candidates discuss faith and politics at a forum hosted by George Washington University and broadcast by CNN.

I know, I know. Elliptical machine + faith and politics + CNN = recipe for disaster.

Soledad O'Brien was interviewing Hillary Clinton about her political stance on faith.

"Blah, blah, blah," said Hillary. "Blah, blah, when I went to a small Methodist church in Podunk, USA the kindly reverend there, with whom I shared a deep connection, looked into my eyes and said God thinks I would make the best President EVER," she said, looking pointedly at the cameras.

Or something like that.

After Hill-Clint gracefully evaded talking about anything (ed. note: I'm not supporting or endorsing any of these fools yet, they all somewhat gracefully evaded all their questions), O'Brien asked Clinton about her personal relationship with her faith. She must've known that Clinton would balk at the personal question, because O'Brien cushioned her hard-hitting journalism by saying, "It's okay, it's just us girls chatting!"

Yes. That is exactly what it is. When you're a national television journalist interviewing each of the Democratic presidential candidates on CNN, you should totally couch your tough question aimed at the only female candidate as "just girls chatting."

What gives, Soledad O'Brien?

"Halle Berry has a great laugh -- it's full and rich, and she gets her whole body into it. It erupts as she's explaining why she still keeps a pair of Mickey Mouse blue jeans that she's had since she was 15. 'It's my annual test -- I try them on once a year, and if I can still fit into them, then all is good in the world!'"
-from InStyle magazine, April 2007, by Tim Allis

Those are the two opening sentences on this month's InStyle cover story on Halle Berry.

Really, Halle Berry? The measure of a year of your life is, quite literally, equivalent to the measurement of your waistline?

But remember that time you were the first African American woman to win an Oscar for Best Actress? Just an idea, but the Oscar might serve as a better touchstone of success.

The thing is, Halle Berry, you've usually impressed me with your movie roles (shout out to Oprah's TV adaptation of Their Eyes Were Watching God!) and your overall relationship with the public eye. And I know the quote isn't meant to be serious -- at least I hope not -- but it makes me sad to think that the women who read this magazine will get the message that you of all people (you're Halle FREAKING Berry, remember?), a seemingly perfect woman, still checks in with her skinny jeans at least once a year.

Ironically, the subtitle of the article says Berry is tackling life with a more "evolved attitude." Somehow, a pair of Mickey Mouse jeans from the early 1980's sound the opposite of evolved to me.

Side note: if I resurrected anything from my fifteen-year-old self's wardrobe, it would totally be the overalls I wore and loved SO MUCH. How's that for an evolution?

Remember those T-shirts they used to sell on the Hampton Beach boardwalk shops that read, "Mean People Suck"??? I wish I had one today because there were some mean people sucking all over the Slope.

Caitlin and I decided to take advantage of Dine in Brooklyn week and treat ourselves to a fancy, three-course dinner for only $21.12. We both didn't feel like drinking wine or cocktails, but it wasn't because we're cheap. Our waitress, though, definitely pegged us for poor, cheap, twenty-somethings (she was only two-thirds correct) and was so cold to us throughout the entire meal. However, there was a large party sitting next to us, ordering many cocktails and glasses of wine and she was totally yukking it up for them. The food was too delicious to let our waitress rain on our culinary parade, but she was dishing out some serious frost -- when I ordered the lemon ginger creme brulee for dessert she dryly said, "Well good for you." I don't know how that's an insult, but it was. What gives?

Caitlin and I moved along on our date night and hiked over to the movie theater to see Reign On Me, which was fairly good, even though Liv Tyler plays the most unethical shrink EVER! Anyway, in case you haven't heard, it's a pretty somber movie in which Adam Sandler plays a man whose entire family died on September 11th. The couple sitting in front of us evidently did NOT pick up on the somber tones -- or the fact that they were in a movie theater -- because they talked and giggled through the entire movie. Twenty minutes in, after we had missed a few key points because of our neighbors' inane babbling, I leaned in and SO VERY POLITELY (I know I was polite because I had to restrain myself) asked them to stop talking.

How can you say "no" when someone asks you in a movie theater, "Could you please stop talking?" I'll tell you how: "I'm just having a few words with my WIFE," said one half of team chit chat. Okay, a.) there's no acceptable amount of talking, no "a few words." It's a movie theater -- that means NO words. The people on screen -- you know, the ones in the movies! -- THEY talk so YOU don't have to for a couple hours! and b.) The emphasis on the word WIFE struck me as odd. Did he think I would say, "Ohhhhhh...that clears it up! Thank you! Carry on." Caitlin would probably like to point out that the movie theater doors were opened about 94589408503 times by random people poking their heads in, as well. Again, I ask, what gives?

In spite of these rant-worthy annoyances, it was a totally awesome weekend. Oh whoops, except for the part where Matt was turned away from this poseur club in, of all places, Bay Ridge, because he was wearing sneakers. Here's a tip: having philosophical arguments with large bouncers over house rules that they don't make is totally worthless.