2 posts tagged “those awkward teenage years”

My aunt sent me a nice note and mentioned that she had sent a couple emails to my old -- we're talking ancient -- AOL account. I haven't checked that account in about six years, so I thought it was time. None of my standard/totally non-secure passwords are working and I can't log into the account. The "forgot your password?" link directs me to answer a password reminder question, which is "What is your favorite movie?"

Okay, here is where I say, HELLOOOOOO AOL KNOCK KNOCK ANYONE HOME THIS IS THE DUMBEST PASSWORD REMINDER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB AND ELECTRONIC MAIL MESSAGES.

Seriously, let's think about this: I probably created a response to this prompt when I was about 15 or 16. Standard password retrieval questions like mother's maiden name, first pet's name, etc. work because have these responses changed in the last ELEVEN years? No.

My favorite movie? In 1996? Well, geez. How the hell am I supposed to remember? I can remember my high school locker combination (7-11-47) and my first ATM card pin # (1405), but I have seen probably hundreds of movies since 1996.

Here are the movies I've tried, to no avail:
-Reality Bites
-Empire Records
-Aspen Extreme
-Ghostbusters II
-Annie Hall (on second thought, Annie Hall was a college fave, courtesy of Craig)

Did you know me in 1996? Did we ever hang out and watch a movie that I loved? If so, help a sister out.

But back to the bigger picture: what does this tell us about AOL and its technological vision and overall business plan? That they clearly did not have eleven years' worth of faith in the Internet. Suckers.

I subscribe to this daily newsletter  for work, and I really liked the blog today about the teen unemployment rate. The piece is permalinked here, but to sum it up, even though there are lots of jobs available lately, no one wants to hire teens. Which sucks for them. Anastasia, who writes and publishes Ypulse, lists some good points about all the positive stuff she got out of crappy jobs she had when she was a teenager and fondly reminisces about the payoffs of manual labor. Or, as my dad calls it, Man-u-el.

I could probably write a book or two about the jobs I had and the weirdos (and totally awesome people) I worked with from when I was 14 through college, but instead, I thought I'd list some of the random skills and tricks I've gathered -- some useful, some so clearly not -- because that sums up my crap-job experience much better than a book:

Courtesy of Tim's Bait, summer of 1995:
-Eel tanks must get bailed out filled with clean water once a day. While doing so, the dead eels must be removed and put in the freezer. I never found out what happened to them after the freezer.
-I Love Lucy is REALLY funny, even if Desi was kind of a chauvinist pig.

Courtesy of Markey's Lobster Pool, summers 1996-2002
-People who take their fried seafood with lobster plates from the fried food counter, bring it back to their tables, and then return the plate to the counter five minutes later, alleging that it did NOT come with lobster, in fact ate the lobster, and are lying.
-The best tartar sauce is made with the kind of mayonnaise that comes in a 5 gallon tub.
-Hot dogs can be deep fried and "finished off" on the grill in the interest of time.
-Old ladies LOVE big-bellied steamed clams. No one else does. It's a generational mystery. They also like to order hot water with lemon.
-Some things, like boxes of soda syrup, bushels of clams, kegs of beer, and trash bags filled with soggy seafood remains and lobster shells are really heavy, but over time they'll get lighter and your biceps will be in the best shape of your entire life.
-People who allow their toddlers to choose what they want for dinner are idiots and should be sterilized.
-You should learn how to make change in your head and count it back properly. It's really easy, yet it makes you look really smart.
-Pick your battles so you can win the war: the American public is overall pretty dumb and only gets dumber when forced to make decisions under pressure (see also: behavior in airports). At Markey's, I feel like we were almost encouraged to heckle rude customers, but I learned that it's actually easier and less emotionally taxing to pretend the customer is always right. As my friend Dana likes to say, the masses are asses.
-When operating the cash register and taking orders (a.k.a. "on reg"), don't get nervous if things slow down and you're not taking orders quickly enough. The 12 people in the kitchen will start chanting "SPEEEEEEED IT UP", but if you let the pressure get to you, you're screwed.
-You might spend anywhere from 40-60 hours a week in close quarters with your coworkers, and that's just time spent at work. In the event of feuds, rival gangs, and threats of parking lot beat-downs -- all are inevitable -- remain neutral.

How I could work the above skills into my resume today:
-Ability to multitask in a fast-paced, intense environment.
-Ability to work both independently and as part of a team.
-Ability to recognize and cater to distinct client needs.
-Diverse skills set ranging from physical labor to accounting.

Man, when it's listed all out like that, it all makes me really glad that I've been slaving away since I was a kid. For all those reasons and I guess the other ones, like understanding the concept of "rent," "bills," "independence," and "not being a spoiled brat and/or waste of space."

P.S. If I allowed myself to go there and write about my first "real" job out of college, I would add the skill, "Able to be yelled at, belittled, and alternately micromanaged and ignored, without affecting my performance or work ethic." But that's just if I wanted to go there...