2 posts tagged “jam”

This is what my brain feels like right now, "buhhhhhh...", so I'll just tell a few stories:

1. The Help Me Out I'm Veeeeeeery Hungry Woman (I think that is pretty self-explanatory, no?) used to whine her way up and down Wall St. Monday through Friday AND in my neighborhood on Saturdays. Recently, she seems to have found some new weekday turf so I'm only accosted by her on Saturdays when I'm out and about in my neighborhood. This past Saturday, I was on my way home from the gym, schlepping and sweaty down 5th Avenue. The HMOIVH Woman and I began our usual sidewalk dance: she asking me to buy her a hamburger at McDonald's, me stepping out of her path and avoiding eye contact. She must have been extremely hungry on Saturday, and like me, must get super cranky when starvation sets in, because after I made it clear that I would not be feeding her she said to me, "Sweetie, ya' really need to comb ya' haaaaaaaiiiiir."

Whew. Okay, I actually did. I hadn't showered in a couple of days and I had just been to the gym. But really, HMOIVH lady? Did you really just go there?

The answer is yes, she did, and she went there once more after I turned around and glared at her. "What?" she said, "YOU DO."

If, when you started reading this post you thought, "Geez, Allison, you're such a jerk. Have you any sympathy for those in need?" I bet you're not thinking that anymore. And if you are, get this: in the summertime, when HMOIVH lady wears sandals, she always has painted toenails. Spending $12 on a cheap pedicure is a luxury for me, so I sure as hell don't feel bad for her.

2. Speaking of pedicures, last October I broke my cell phone by dropping it in the foot bath while getting a pedicure. A bunch of friends emailed me their phone numbers, so I guess the statistics would tell you that I'd mess one up somehow. Saturday, I texted a friend of mine about some plans for the evening and I immediately got a text back asking "Who is this???" I texted back my full name in an effort to be sassy via text and then got 3 phone calls from some dude (apparently the phone number I texted was NOT my friend's) who was hell-bent on being a total jackass to me. And to Amanda, as I had her field one of the phone calls. So, sorry I texted you, Andy Westling of Boston, you jackass! I hope someone Googles your name and sees this.

3. I've been thinking of telling my friends to stop watching How I Met Your Mother. Back in the fall, when I used to roam the hallways of my office looking for someone, ANYONE, who watched this brilliant classic sitcom, the show was really funny. Then, I recommended it to a bunch of friends, and I guess lots of other loyal viewers did, too, because HIMYM is just getting kind of unfunny. Not to be a whiny elitist, if that's even possible when it comes to sitcoms, but the more people who watch a sitcom, the worse it gets. That is, until tonight. It was a classic episode, and I'm waiting for someone to post Barney's "Top 10" list on YouTube. Here's a preview: Esca-LAID.

4. My favorite joke about something unoriginal is, "I liked that [insert title of TV show or movie] when it was called [insert title of better TV show/movie] with [insert star who totally made it great]." I've been able to base this joke around one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, in two instances lately -- the ill-fated "Day Break" starring Taye Diggs and the newly released "Premonition" starring Sandra Bullock. So, here's the joke:
I liked this way better when it was called Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray. Hah!

5. Not to dwell on TV, but I have some new Jim/Pam/JAM opinions. I think...I don't...wantthemtogettogether. There. I said it. I'm still thinking about it (A LOT), though, and lurking on the absolutely ridiculous TV Without Pity JAM Spoilers board, so stay tuned.

Alright, I've sufficiently bored myself to near sleep, which was really my goal since I have to be up by 6 a.m. tomorrow.

Buhhhhhh...

I wasn't interested in the American version of The Office until I started reading that the Jim/Pam-will they/won't they relationship was absolutely smoking hot. A good will they/won't they storyline is officially my Achilles heel when it comes to TV and movies, particularly if the relationship is based on a friendship bursting with sexual tension.

Cases in point:
1. Right now whatever's going on with Addison and Kurev on Grey's Anatomy is pretty hot. They have an established rapport and a nice little flirtation. But they're not close; they're not really friends.
2. Jim and Pam are basically guilty of "emotional cheating" (I have only just learned of this concept after watching a recent Today Show segment about whether men and women can truly be friends). During Seasons 1 and 2 of The Office, Jim and Pam are so connected to each other on an emotional level -- they are more than just flirtation, even though that flirtation is DELICIOUS -- that you can totally feel what's at stake in their relationship. Pam will never be able to be with Roy on that level; likewise for Jim's new lady, Karen (SHE'D BETTER NOT, THAT BITCH).

The other reason I love their dynamic is because they are both so painfully aware of their feelings for each other, and how the universe is JUST SO COMPLETELY AGAINST THEM RIGHT NOW.

Whew, sorry...
Seriously, though, I hate storylines where one character is oblivious to the other's feelings and intentions until one day there is this grand gesture made and this character is like, "Holy crap. I HAVE been totally in love with this person for like, EVER!" And then they live happily ever after and all that.

I've been trying to figure out why I'm so into "Jam" (a.k.a. Jim and Pam) lately, because for real, it's like porno to me (see also: Mulder and Scully, ca. 1994). Am I secretly hoping for one of my dude-friends to confess his undying love for me, complete with single tear, a la Jim during the Season 2 finale (Hi Craig! Hi Dana! Hi Jimmy! Step on up...)? Lord, no.

I think it's the reality-based fantasy that appeals to me. Most romances that tug at my heartstrings are so far-fetched that, while I can definitely shed a few tears while watching them unfold, I acknowledge the preposterousness of the whole scenario (see: Gosling, McAdams, The Notebook). But with Jim and Pam, there's just enough reality (I've experienced my share of awkward friendships) mixed with the fantasy (the fact that they both allow their flirtation and "emotional cheating" and escapades to reach the chemistry-filled level that they do, something I've never done) that really floats my boat.

In any event, I'm Team Pam all the way. And if you have John Krasinski's phone number, PM me why don't you?

Now watch this video and cry like I do: